Have you ever heard that phrase, "The art of conversation"? I have, but I've decided that conversation is more like a sport than a fine painting, and I'm surprised to find that many people don't play well. I think it's because they do not understand that conversation is so much more than talking to someone.

What is conversation?

Conversation is listening for understanding, then responding with clarity, kindness, and compassion. Conversation is not, preparing the next comment in your mind while you wait for the current talker to.. Stop. Talking.

Conversation is like ping pong

I find that an active conversation is like a game of ping pong. Not the Olympic ping pong where the opponents try to outmaneuver one another to proclaim table tennis victory. I'm describing a more simple game. It's the kind where players aren't concerned about precise serves. They don't focus on effective blocks or crushing one another with backhand drives. (Thank you, Google for helping me with my table tennis terminology.) It's ping pong that's played in someone's backyard on a lazy summer day, just for fun. The kind where the players' only objective is to keep the ball in play; an enjoyable game of back and forth until the sun goes down. These are the kinds of conversations I intentionally try to have. (Yes, I get excited and interrupt sometimes. Yes, my mind has been known to wander in long conversations. I apologize in advance.)

Toxic conversations

Then there are conversations thrust upon me that epitomize the kind I am so adamantly opposed to. These talkers never take a breath. They tell me the same thing they told me the last time we spoke, each sentence beginning with the word, "I." These are the conversations I let hit the net, ending them as soon as possible, to preserve my peace and sanity.

The question is...

What kind of conversations do you want to have? Do you want to be the one who does all the talking? Or, do you want to be a considerate conversationalist, realizing that the person you're speaking with also has something to say? During a conversation, you have the ability to make yourself seem important or make someone else feel important, valued, heard, and loved.

Philippians 2:3 NLT

Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves.

And with that, I lay down my paddle. Until next time...