The Season of Change

I was born in the mountains— I spent my childhood there. When I return to them, I am happy and sad, because the mountains are only mine to borrow. They are not mine to keep.

Emotions float to the top of my soul like marshmallows in cocoa— warm, bittersweet emotions.

I want to stay in the mountains— not just for a few days. I want to stay long enough to adventure; explore; rest; create; reconnect; and pray.

I am drawn to the autumn colors of the mountains and to the falling leaves. When October comes, I must journey there. The changing season is symbolic of the change I long to see within myself. It feels like instinct, but it is certainly the Spirit of God, who longs for my change even more than I do.

Thank you, God, for leaves on a porch; for crisp air; for a thick blanket next to a fireplace; for hot apple cider; for homemade meals around a table of friends who feel more like family; for quiet peace; for fog on the mountains; for the smell of lavender; for joy; and naps. Thank you, God. All of this means so much to me. You knew it would.

Dedicated to Dee and Mark Mueller, the founders and hosts of Hearth Ministries.

Giants

"Finances, not tiredness, that's what gets to him. He's too overwhelmed to get up. He doesn't want to face what he has to face today. Me? It's not finances..." "The root is fear," said the Holy Spirit. Light bulb. Ding ding ding. I finally understood.

Financial fear was my husband's giant! I had watched him get up before dawn for over a year, waking me in the process as he tried to be quiet, put on his walking shoes, and head out to pray. Long days and late nights couldn't keep him away. But today was the third day in a row that he was too tired and needed to sleep in. He was exhausted from carrying the weight of financial responsibility at work and home.

Financial fear was my husband's giant; but our God is so big, He can take down a giant with a pebble! My husband knows this. He's read it. He's preached it. But, it's easier to encourage others than to live encouraged. Isn't it? This reminds me of one of my son-in-law's favorite sayings, "Hello, I'm God. I'll be handling your problems today." Just last night at dinner with friends, we heard a mini-sermon about the truly humble act of giving our cares to God. In doing so, we recognize that He is capable of handling them and He sincerely cares about each one, because He sincerely cares about us. I couldn't help but wonder if this was a test of trust; if we were going around this mountain again because we have yet to learn that God is able to provide all we need according to His riches in glory (Philippians 4:19). He doesn't lack for anything and He wants to take care of us.

"We are faithful. We tithe. What else can we do?" I've heard this desperate question over and over. I usually say, "That's all we can do," but that's not all; we can truly trust. Our mountains are between valleys, and we travel them both in this life, but we don't travel alone. The longer we live the more familiar the terrain becomes. There are mountains and valleys we have seen before and we anticipate the joys and challenges of both. But when you travel a valley in the winter, it looks different than when you travel through it in the springtime. The first time you climb a mountain you might run out of water, but the next time you climb that mountain you'll bring an extra canteen. God prepares us for mountains and valleys; Holy Spirit is our guide and travels with us; Jesus prays for us every day on our journey and He does miracles along the way.

I'm not pretending to be unconcerned about our needs. I also don't know how God will solve this. I usually give Him a few ideas and then remember, His ways are not my ways, and His thoughts aren't my thoughts (Isaiah 55:8-9). We have changed some of our routines in order to save money and we are making more changes. I know in the long run, all things will work out for our good (Romans 8:28). We are learning self-control, patience, and many more fruitful things; and we are asking God for direction.

What I do know is, the reason David took down Goliath with a single stone was because David came in the name of the Lord (1 Samuel 17:45). The Lord is victorious in battle, (Psalm 24:8) therefore, David had the victory. Like us, you may be facing a giant right now. I'm not sure how hard the fight will be or what God will use to take the giant down, but I know this, with God we are already victorious!

Praying for you today,
Mechelle

Further Reading:
1 Samuel 17
Psalm 24:7-10
Philippians 4:6-7
1 Peter 5:7
Ecclesiastes 3:1

Kill the Giant by Jamie Jones

My husband was the first to read this post, and he gave his permission to share it. Pastors are not superhuman, nor are they divine. They are walking out their faith every day, just like the rest of us. Selah.

Sorry, Not Sorry

How raw should someone be in a post? How much should someone reveal? I don't know the answer to that. I can tell you this, if you read my blog long enough, you will find out more than you ever wanted to know about me. Today's post is proof of that.

I have been grappling with myself a bit for the last couple of days. I enjoy the author life. However, it is challenging in many ways; especially the area of promotion. I have little desire to promote myself, but it is necessary to promote my written work. Even promoting my written work is less about sales and more about sharing what I have been given with others. My heart is so full from creating something from nothing. It has been said, we are most like our creator when we create. Makes sense to me; and I feel it too.

Because I am a pastor, however my main circle of friends and contacts are other ministers or church friends. It feels like a conflict of interest to tell them about my books because it looks like selling. I don't have a supply of books to give away. As a matter of fact, if I want one of the books I have written, I have to purchase it. I have written two books so far and haven't made a dime. This is because the investment is high and the yield, at least presently, is little to nothing. Please don't view this as a complaint. I feel so alive during the process of writing and publishing. The best part is, my books have opened doors for me to visit children in schools. I have made one public school visit and five Christian school visits since my first book was released in 2022. I am scheduled to make three more visits this Spring and one of my goals is to visit every school in my city. But before I turn this post into a newsletter, I want to circle back to my reason for writing.

I have dealt with inferiority most of my life. There are many reasons for this and I am aware of most of them. As an adult, Holy Spirit has counseled me about these feelings of inferiority and revealed His truth to me about them. I know these feelings are tactics of the enemy, meant to hold me back. It has been said that humility and pride are each a side of the same coin. This coin has zero value, by the way. The pride side says, "I don't need God. I can do all things... by myself." The inferiority side says, "I am not enough and God is not enough. I can't do anything and God can't use me. He can't make up the difference in my lack." Consciously, I (we) may not think these things verbatim, but sometimes these are the lies I (we) live in. This upsets me sometimes and sometimes I just curl up in a ball and feel sorry for myself.

Yesterday, I visited a Christian preschool of wonderful teachers and precious little students (souls.) My first job was at a preschool. I needed a job because high school was getting expensive. So, I opened the phonebook and flipped through the pages looking at the headings. Catering..no. Construction..no. Plumbing..no. Preschool..yes! I called the listing and asked if they were hiring. They said yes and scheduled me for an interview. I worked at this preschool (and after school care center) for several years until I got married and joined my husband in the ministry of pastoring children. It's obvious. I know God chose children's ministry for me, and every author visit is a reminder. My books keep the door to children's ministry open to me and have opened an additional door of supportive ministry to teachers and staff. This may not be a traditional ministry model, but I recognize the fruit. This fruit isn't served on fancy china placed on linen tablecloths. (Although, I'm all for that.) This fruit is cut in tiny pieces and served on a paper plate, placed on a colorful alphabet rug on the floor.

I am not in the sales business, but I am in the book business, because those books are what God has placed in my hands. I'm gonna keep on spreading Jelly because it helps me spread God's love. And I am tired of feeling like I have to keep it a secret or apologize for it. If you spend more than a minute or two with me, I may start passionately talking about my current author gig. Please don't feel obligated to stay and listen or to order one of my books. Just know, this is God's plan for me. It's one of the good works He has for me and I must do it with all my heart. I can't worry about perception anymore; the enemy tries to use that to hold me back. I must go forward. "God will have His way in my life." I repeat that phrase often. I encourage you to do the same. Let God have His way in your life and make no apologies for following His will for you.

Mechelle