Have you ever heard that phrase, "The art of conversation"? I have, but I've decided that conversation is more like a sport than a fine painting, and I'm surprised to find that many people don't play well. I think it's because they do not understand that conversation is so much more than talking to someone.
What is conversation?
Conversation is listening for understanding, then responding with clarity, kindness, and compassion. Conversation is not, preparing the next comment in your mind while you wait for the current talker to.. Stop. Talking.
Conversation is like ping pong
I find that an active conversation is like a game of ping pong. Not the Olympic ping pong where the opponents try to outmaneuver one another to proclaim table tennis victory. I'm describing a more simple game. It's the kind where players aren't concerned about precise serves. They don't focus on effective blocks or crushing one another with backhand drives. (Thank you, Google for helping me with my table tennis terminology.) It's ping pong that's played in someone's backyard on a lazy summer day, just for fun. The kind where the players' only objective is to keep the ball in play; an enjoyable game of back and forth until the sun goes down. These are the kinds of conversations I intentionally try to have. (Yes, I get excited and interrupt sometimes. Yes, my mind has been known to wander in long conversations. I apologize in advance.)
Toxic conversations
Then there are conversations thrust upon me that epitomize the kind I am so adamantly opposed to. These talkers never take a breath. They tell me the same thing they told me the last time we spoke, each sentence beginning with the word, "I." These are the conversations I let hit the net, ending them as soon as possible, to preserve my peace and sanity.
The question is...
What kind of conversations do you want to have? Do you want to be the one who does all the talking? Or, do you want to be a considerate conversationalist, realizing that the person you're speaking with also has something to say? During a conversation, you have the ability to make yourself seem important or make someone else feel important, valued, heard, and loved.
Philippians 2:3 NLT
Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves.
And with that, I lay down my paddle. Until next time...
Healing from Trauma: Finding Hope Through Faith
My Story
My mission, as a writer is, "connecting you with joy, hope, and the wonder of childhood." This is my mission because I understand firsthand how these things can be taken from someone at an early age, never to be found again. When I was seven years old, my mom remarried, we moved to another state, and my life was forever changed. No longer surrounded by family, my mom, sister, and I were seemingly trapped in a world of physical, sexual, and verbal/mental abuse. My sister was the youngest and suffered things I never did. However, we both saw my mom attacked and almost killed many times. It is a very long story that spans twelve years for me and even longer for my mom and sister. I hesitate to write in detail, but one day I will. To sum it up, I was belittled constantly, touched inappropriately by a member of my stepfather's family, and consumed by fear and worry. Drugs, alcohol, yelling, fighting, etc. was our norm.
What's Normal?
When people learn about my childhood, they often ask, "How did you turn out so normal?" They don't know I have felt rejected most of my life. They don't know how long I pursued perfectionism , or how that affected my children when they were young. They don't know that I've struggled with inferiority. However, the Lord has taken me through a process of healing, and in some respects is still taking me through it. The joy I experience in my life now is a direct result of a close relationship with God.
The Difference Between Trauma and Abuse
But before I go any further, I want to make sure we have the same understanding of two important words I will use here: trauma and abuse. Although these words are often intertwined, they are not the same thing. I actually asked Google what they meant this morning because I didn't want to use them in a way that may cause confusion or pain to anyone who has experienced either. The Dictionary of Oxford Languages defines these words this way:
Abuse: treat (a person or an animal) with cruelty or violence, especially regularly or repeatedly.
Trauma: a deeply distressing or disturbing experience.
Dictionary of oxford languages
Another online source, medicine.net, helped me further understand the difference between these two words. To paraphrase, whereas, abuse affects the physical body, trauma affects the mind. This explains why even when physical or sexual abuse ends, one may still experience trauma as the abuse is replayed in the mind.
Learning About Trauma Firsthand
Please note: I am not a medical doctor or a psychologist. I have no medical authority regarding these matters or the treatment thereof. My opinions are based on my own experience. I cannot touch on every person's circumstances, or solve everyone's problems. I simply want to give you hope, and one step you can take today along the path to healing. Just one.
I have seen many adults struggle with the abuse that happened to them as children. They make poor decisions and don't have healthy relationships. They may become addicted to drugs, alcohol, food, or anything else that will dull their pain or the memory of painful events. Many sexual abuse victims also deal with gender confusion. Why? Because a child does not think like an adult, nor do they have much life experience to draw from. Lies told by an abuser are believed to be true and become a child's false reality, one they may live in even through adulthood. I could write for days on this subject, using just one family as a case study— mine.
Self-help Won't Free You From Trauma
This leads me to that one step I told you about; the one thing you can do to take a step along the path to healing. One caveat, though. The Lord is the only one who can truly heal the pain you and I have been through. Any step you take along the path of healing is merely self-help without Him. Call on Him and ask Him to heal your heart, your mind, and your body. This conversation with God is the most important conversation you will ever have, and He is the only one who has the power to make the steps we take effective. Once you have surrendered your life to God, surrender to Him, your hurt, pain, anger, resentment, loss, fear, all the things. Now you and God can take a look at your life and How to walk in freedom from your past.
The Bible says in Romans 12:2 NLT, "Don't copy the customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God's will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect."
In my opinion, the first step in overcoming trauma is to change the way you think. Stop believing that the abuse and subsequent trauma is your fault. No person has the right to abuse another person, regardless of what that person said or did. No person has the right to abuse or lie to a child or vulnerable person of any age. It is not your job, or mine, to avoid all words or actions that may trigger anger or rage in another person. And should a person become angry or enraged in response to something you or I do, it is not our fault if that person abuses us. These lies are crafted by satan and he uses evil people to perpetuate them.
If you are reading this, I pray you are not currently experiencing abuse. You may still experience tauma, however, and if you are, it's time to change what you believe. There is a God who loves you, his name is Jesus. He left Heaven to come to earth to pay the penalty for our sin, because we could never pay it. There may be people who have been or are against you, but Jesus is for you! (Romans 8:31b) He came to give us a full life on earth and an eternal life in Heaven. He did not send abuse and trauma your way. He didn't stand idly by and approve of what was happening to you. Someone who was not following Jesus chose to hurt you. The Bible says God has good plans for you, not plans for disaster, but plans to give you a future and a hope. (Jeremiah 29:11) Satan is a thief and he also has a plan for you— a plan to steal from you, to kill you, and destroy you. (John 10:10) I heard someone explain why the word "destroy" is used after the word "kill." You see, death is not final. Our spirit will live on somewhere, Heaven or Hell. The enemy doesn't just want to kill us, He wants to destroy us by tempting us to deny God so we will be separated from Him for eternity.
Is Trauma From God?
Still questioning whether the abuse or trauma you have experienced was from God? Take a piece of paper and draw a vertical line down the middle. Write the word, "Life" on the right side and "Death" on the other side. Life was given to us by God. Death is from the enemy, satan. Which column do the things that happened to you belong in? What about the things you believe about yourself or the things you've been told? Are these beliefs good? Do they give you hope? Do they help you look to the future? Do they make you feel loved? If they don't, they are lies and they belong in the column marked, "Death." The Bible is truth. The Bible tells us exactly what God thinks about us. He is our creator and He is the only one who has the right to tell us who we are. You can overcome childhood abuse and trauma. There is a path to healing. God wants to walk that path with you. Take the first step. He's waiting.
Giants
"Finances, not tiredness, that's what gets to him. He's too overwhelmed to get up. He doesn't want to face what he has to face today. Me? It's not finances..." "The root is fear," said the Holy Spirit. Light bulb. Ding ding ding. I finally understood.
Financial fear was my husband's giant! I had watched him get up before dawn for over a year, waking me in the process as he tried to be quiet, put on his walking shoes, and head out to pray. Long days and late nights couldn't keep him away. But today was the third day in a row that he was too tired and needed to sleep in. He was exhausted from carrying the weight of financial responsibility at work and home.
Financial fear was my husband's giant; but our God is so big, He can take down a giant with a pebble!My husband knows this. He's read it. He's preached it.But, it's easier to encourage others than to live encouraged. Isn't it? This reminds me of one of my son-in-law's favorite sayings, "Hello, I'm God. I'll be handling your problems today." Just last night at dinner with friends, we heard a mini-sermon about the truly humble act of giving our cares to God. In doing so, we recognize that He is capable of handling them and He sincerely cares about each one, because He sincerely cares about us. I couldn't help but wonder if this was a test of trust; if we were going around this mountain again because we have yet to learn that God is able to provide all we need according to His riches in glory (Philippians 4:19). He doesn't lack for anything and He wants to take care of us.
"We are faithful. We tithe. What else can we do?" I've heard this desperate question over and over. I usually say, "That's all we can do," but that's not all; we can truly trust. Our mountains are between valleys, and we travel them both in this life, but we don't travel alone. The longer we live the more familiar the terrain becomes. There are mountains and valleys we have seen before and we anticipate the joys and challenges of both. But when you travel a valley in the winter, it looks different than when you travel through it in the springtime. The first time you climb a mountain you might run out of water, but the next time you climb that mountain you'll bring an extra canteen. God prepares us for mountains and valleys; Holy Spirit is our guide and travels with us; Jesus prays for us every day on our journey and He does miracles along the way.
I'm not pretending to be unconcerned about our needs. I also don't know how God will solve this. I usually give Him a few ideas and then remember, His ways are not my ways, and His thoughts aren't my thoughts (Isaiah 55:8-9). We have changed some of our routines in order to save money and we are making more changes. I know in the long run, all things will work out for our good (Romans 8:28). We are learning self-control, patience, and many more fruitful things; and we are asking God for direction.
What I do know is, the reason David took down Goliath with a single stone was because David came in the name of the Lord (1 Samuel 17:45). The Lord is victorious in battle, (Psalm 24:8) therefore, David had the victory. Like us, you may be facing a giant right now. I'm not sure how hard the fight will be or what God will use to take the giant down, but I know this, with God we are already victorious!
Praying for you today, Mechelle
Further Reading: 1 Samuel 17 Psalm 24:7-10 Philippians 4:6-7 1 Peter 5:7 Ecclesiastes 3:1
My husband was the first to read this post, and he gave his permission to share it. Pastors are not superhuman, nor are they divine. They are walking out their faith every day, just like the rest of us. Selah.
Sorry, Not Sorry
How raw should someone be in a post? How much should someone reveal? I don't know the answer to that. I can tell you this, if you read my blog long enough, you will find out more than you ever wanted to know about me. Today's post is proof of that.
I have been grappling with myself a bit for the last couple of days. I enjoy the author life. However, it is challenging in many ways; especially the area of promotion. I have little desire to promote myself, but it is necessary to promote my written work. Even promoting my written work is less about sales and more about sharing what I have been given with others. My heart is so full from creating something from nothing. It has been said, we are most like our creator when we create. Makes sense to me; and I feel it too.
Because I am a pastor, however my main circle of friends and contacts are other ministers or church friends. It feels like a conflict of interest to tell them about my books because it looks like selling. I don't have a supply of books to give away. As a matter of fact, if I want one of the books I have written, I have to purchase it. I have written two books so far and haven't made a dime. This is because the investment is high and the yield, at least presently, is little to nothing. Please don't view this as a complaint. I feel so alive during the process of writing and publishing. The best part is, my books have opened doors for me to visit children in schools. I have made one public school visit and five Christian school visits since my first book was released in 2022. I am scheduled to make three more visits this Spring and one of my goals is to visit every school in my city. But before I turn this post into a newsletter, I want to circle back to my reason for writing.
I have dealt with inferiority most of my life. There are many reasons for this and I am aware of most of them. As an adult, Holy Spirit has counseled me about these feelings of inferiority and revealed His truth to me about them. I know these feelings are tactics of the enemy, meant to hold me back. It has been said that humility and pride are each a side of the same coin. This coin has zero value, by the way. The pride side says, "I don't need God. I can do all things... by myself." The inferiority side says, "I am not enough and God is not enough. I can't do anything and God can't use me. He can't make up the difference in my lack." Consciously, I (we) may not think these things verbatim, but sometimes these are the lies I (we) live in. This upsets me sometimes and sometimes I just curl up in a ball and feel sorry for myself.
Yesterday, I visited a Christian preschool of wonderful teachers and precious little students (souls.) My first job was at a preschool. I needed a job because high school was getting expensive. So, I opened the phonebook and flipped through the pages looking at the headings. Catering..no. Construction..no. Plumbing..no. Preschool..yes! I called the listing and asked if they were hiring. They said yes and scheduled me for an interview. I worked at this preschool (and after school care center) for several years until I got married and joined my husband in the ministry of pastoring children. It's obvious. I know God chose children's ministry for me, and every author visit is a reminder. My books keep the door to children's ministry open to me and have opened an additional door of supportive ministry to teachers and staff. This may not be a traditional ministry model, but I recognize the fruit. This fruit isn't served on fancy china placed on linen tablecloths. (Although, I'm all for that.) This fruit is cut in tiny pieces and served on a paper plate, placed on a colorful alphabet rug on the floor.
I am not in the sales business, but I am in the book business, because those books are what God has placed in my hands. I'm gonna keep on spreading Jelly because it helps me spread God's love. And I am tired of feeling like I have to keep it a secret or apologize for it. If you spend more than a minute or two with me, I may start passionately talking about my current author gig. Please don't feel obligated to stay and listen or to order one of my books. Just know, this is God's plan for me. It's one of the good works He has for me and I must do it with all my heart. I can't worry about perception anymore; the enemy tries to use that to hold me back. I must go forward. "God will have His way in my life." I repeat that phrase often. I encourage you to do the same. Let God have His way in your life and make no apologies for following His will for you.
Mechelle
Celebrating My Hundredth Post
Today I am celebrating my hundredth post! 🥳 My very first blog post ever, was over 10 years ago! To commemorate this personal achievement, I am pointing you back to where it all began, my very first post. I read it today and found a 10-year-old typo, that I corrected. Making this correction made me happy because I always want to keep learning and growing. I always want to do my best, but I realize that my best will not be perfection. Perfection is illusive. Perfection requires comparison and critique. One's idea of perfection may fall short of another's. So who's right? Whose idea is correct? Whose standard should we follow? In a spiritual sense, we should follow God's. I am immediately reminded of this verse:
Romans 3:23 New Living Translation
23 For everyone has sinned; we all fall short of God’s glorious standard.
If God knows we aren't perfect and He doesn't require perfection from us, then why do we require it from ourselves? That is a question we must answer individually. Don't look inside too much, look to God. Ask Him to give you the answer and, trust me, He will. You might be surprised to find that your efforts to earn God's love or approval might be based on human standards that He never intended for you. If you want to know more about God, click the tab, "How to Walk in the Light."
Personally and creatively, I am learning to accept my imperfections. In the past the struggle with imperfection has caused me to give up. In the past, I have been afraid to do new things because I might not do them perfectly; and anything less than perfection is failure. Right? It definitely depends on who you ask. America's greatest inventor, Thomas Edison said,
“Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time.”
So, let's not allow the fear of imperfection to be a roadblock on the path God has for us! Let's keep trying! Let's keep moving forward!
Today I celebrate 100 times I wrote something, (and shared it) instead of giving up. I hope you enjoy this vintage post from Rhyme, Reason & Real Life, and I hope you are encouraged to keep trying.
Today, my two-year-old grandson, along with his baby brother, got into the pantry. My daughter and I were not aware of this until we heard a crash. We came running into the kitchen to find containers of doggie snacks on the floor at the boys’ feet. His mother was mad, let me tell you! I, Nana, seeing his sideways smile and raised eyebrows, thought he was the cutest boy ever, (albeit mischievous) and felt the need to protect him from his mother’s wrath. “Run!” “Hide,” I yelled! He took my advice, quickly exited the kitchen, and buried himself in the doggie bed. Well, the Holy Spirit knew this was a teachable moment for everyone and prompted me very quickly to correct myself. “No, Asher. Nana has given you bad advice. Don’t run. Don’t hide. When you do something you're not supposed to, go to Mommy and be honest. Tell her what you did.” Asher didn’t budge. I could only see his backside because he was still face down in our dog, Emma’s bed. I wanted to help; to offer support. So, I went over to him, picked him up, and stood close behind him. His momma questioned him. “Did you open the pantry door?” Silence. “Did you open the pantry door?” Denial. “Did you open the pantry door?” I whispered in his ear, “Tell Mommy what you did.” “Yes,” he said. I whispered, “Tell Mommy you're sorry. He whispered, “I’m sorry.” His mother gave him a few words of correction, and I whispered again, “Tell Mommy you're sorry.” “I’m sorry,” he said a little louder. His mother forgave him, and everyone went back to their activities. The Holy Spirit wasn’t quite finished though. During the entire scenario, he was giving me one of the best demonstrations/revelations of repentance I have ever had. When Asher made a mistake, he listened to some bad advice and ran and hid. While he was hiding, you can be sure his mind was preoccupied with thoughts about the consequences of his disobedience. Would there be a time-out? Would he have to clean up the mess? Would there be a spanking? Nothing was resolved and he was stuck in that head-down position until he was willing to stand up, be honest, and sincerely apologize for his actions. The good news is, he didn’t have to do it alone. I was standing right behind him. As a matter of fact, I was holding him. I was whispering in his ear, telling him what to do. I was there ready to defend him, if need be, to remind his mother that he is still learning and growing, that he will make mistakes sometimes, but he is still a precious child. I was struck by it all. Father God is so brilliant to allow humans to parent. The earthly role of the parent mirrors God’s role so well; perhaps better than anything else. When we find ourselves in a pickle, or a jam, or any other kind of jar, the Holy Spirit stands with us and whispers His guidance to us. He says, “Don’t run. Don’t hide. When you do something you're not supposed to, go to Father God and be honest. Tell Him what you did. Tell Him you’re sorry.” Yes, even though God forgives us, there still may be consequences for our actions. Sometimes there’s a mess we have to clean up. Sometimes there is discipline. The good news is, Jesus took the punishment for us and is the one who reminds God we are growing and maturing, that we will make mistakes sometimes, but we are still His precious child. Asher is not in the dog bed anymore (or the doghouse either.) He is playing and having a wonderful day. He repented and he moved on.
Do you think God is mad at you for something you've done?
Don't run. Don't hide. Adam and Eve did that and it didn't work out so well. You can read all about it in the Bible in Genesis chapter 3. God loves you and wants to be with you. Here's what the Bible says:
Romans 8:34 NLT "Who then will condemn us? No one- for Christ Jesus died for us and was raised to life for us, and He is sitting in the place of honor at God's right hand, pleading for us."
"If you openly declare that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is by believing in your heart that you are made right with God, and it is by openly declaring your faith that you are saved.
Romans 10:13 NLT For “Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.”
When you move away from your family when you're young, it's as if time stops. All those kid memories get archived in your brain. No one gets older or changes. Honestly, it's like the people you remember become fossilized; no longer affected by time or the elements of decay. They simply stay the same.
The things you remember about people and events are funny too. Random things about a person stand out and become their trademark characteristics. I moved away from my family when I was fourteen. (For some reason, I have always said I moved away at thirteen. Maybe because thirteen is the last birthday I remember there; or because that's how old I was when I found out we were moving; I'm not sure.) Most of my aunts and uncles lived within walking distance so they are all part of my kid memories.
One of the things I remember most about my Aunt Linda is that she has diabetes. (I'm sure I remember that because seeing her give herself shots in the stomach was traumatic for a kid who hated needles.) My Aunt Linda is the reason I love grapefruit so much. Not only did she like grapefruit, she also liked Sweet'n Low, Avon, and Fingerhut. The Fingerhut delivery truck was the closest thing I had ever seen to Santa's sleigh. She also went to drafting school, read Harlequin romances, and painted the scene on the baptistry wall at church. I think my Aunt Linda was proud of that painting and so was I. My Aunt Linda wasn't always a church-goer. I think she was very lonely before she met the Lord, but when she did, she finally found true love.
I also remember random things about my Aunt Jerri Lynn; like the time she saved me from choking to death by turning me upside down and slapping me on the back. (I am still very careful not to eat butterscotch discs alone.) My Aunt Jerri was the pioneer bird of the family, always leaving the nest to try new things in new places. I remember staying the night with her in her apartment in Hazard. I seem to remember that she bought me a coloring book and read Hans Christian Andersen's, The Ugly Duckling to me; or was it Thumbelina? It's not a solid memory, just a glimmer. I must have been very young.
I also remember spending the summer with her and my cousin Angie in West Virginia; it was the highlight of my year! That summer I went to Piggly Wiggly for the first time, because I forgot my toothbrush and Kentucky was too far to turn around. During that visit I learned that my Aunt Jerri was passionate about not drinking liquid during a meal; she felt liquid interfered with digestion. This was one of the few things about my Aunt Jerri that I did not agree with. Everyone knows that if you can't digest someone's cooking, liquid is the only thing that can help! Aunt Jerri took us to Hardee's for breakfast when I was there and at night, she let me go to work with her at Western Sizzlin'. One night, I got to stand on the counter and clean the mirrors. They had gum and candy vending machines there. I can't exactly remember if she gave me candy, but I do remember that while she was cleaning the kitchen she got grill brick in her eye! She called someone on the phone and then she went to the bathroom and tried to wash it out. She tried to stay calm because I was there, and she was in charge of me, but I knew she was in pain.
My Aunt Jerri is the youngest of my mom's sisters. Mom says she lived with us when I was really little. That must be why my Aunt Jerri and I always got along so well. She was a cheerleader when she was in school. I remember seeing her uniform once. She and my Uncle Doug were really close. He lived with her for a while and was a chef at Western Sizzlin'. As a kid, I thought Western Sizzlin' was the fanciest restaurant there ever was; it was much fancier than Pizza Hut.
My Uncle Doug “babysat” me once when I was 12 or so. I wanted to watch Night Tracks all the way through, but it lasted from midnight until 6am. Mom wouldn’t let me stay up that long, so I had never seen a complete episode; and the Michael Jackson videos were always at the end. This was my one chance! I asked Uncle Doug if I could stay up all night and he said yes! He even let me drink coffee so I wouldn’t fall asleep! I’m happy to say, the next morning, I was awake for Billie Jean! I’m also happy to say, that even though he asked me to, I did not give Uncle Doug a tattoo.
There are many random, kid memories floating around inside of me. Some of them have made it from my head to my heart; those are the easiest to remember.
Jeanette's Mountain
From Mamaw’s house, I can see Jeanette’s mountain. I like to stand on the big rock and sing the songs that come down from there. I want to be a singer when I grow up, just like Karen Carpenter and Olivia Newton John.
I climb Jeanette’s mountain every morning before school to reach the bus stop. The curvy, steep path isn’t easy to climb, and sometimes I slip on the dew-covered grass. But there are beautiful morning glories along the way, sometimes just opening up. I like the way they're connected to the same vine. The pink and purple ones are my favorite.
I’m usually running late for school, but when I’m not, I watch Captain Kangaroo and then go to Jeanette’s house early; even before the boys get up. When I get there, I have to tiptoe through the girls' dark room without talking. Uncle Tim’s band picture is in there; I like his uniform. I want to play the drums some day, just like Uncle Tim. (Mom calls Uncle Tim my cousin, but cousins are little kids. Uncle Tim is in high school.)
Jeanette makes the best pancakes and homemade syrup… with butter melted in. She always shares breakfast with me when I get there early. I wish I could taste that sweet, buttery syrup every day. I think it's the yummy smell that wakes everyone up. Jeanette doesn’t talk much, but she has a beautiful smile; only kind people smile like her. I go to church with Jeanette sometimes and she teaches me about Jesus. I bet Jeanette talks to Jesus even when she’s not at church. I bet that’s why she’s so kind.
A Match Made In Heaven (Part 5)
She never really liked football. She had been to a few games after school to show her team spirit. But when he called to invite her to the game and offered to pick her up, she knew team spirit had nothing to do with it; this was an actual date. She can remember him standing behind her at the game with his hands on her shoulders. And she remembers when he offered her his jacket because she was cold. However, she has no idea who won the game. Over the next three months, there were several dates with friends or family. It was immediately obvious to her that he was the one; she even told her friends. It took him a little longer to be sure. But when his grandma said, “She’s a keeper,” he knew. Apparently, grandmas know a match made in heaven when they see one. This year, on July 27, they will celebrate thirty-two years of marriage.
To be continued… forever.
*In loving memory of the matchmakers: Ruth Steinmo and Leona Carlsward
A Match Made In Heaven (Part 4)
If you’ve ever spent time with a couple who has been married for a while, one question usually comes up, “How did you meet?” Love involves mystery and intrigue. Two people are experiencing the same thing, but are processing it differently; and most of the time, they have no idea what the other one is thinking or feeling. It usually takes a while before the couple is comfortable enough to share their feelings with each other. Do you remember grade school? Back then, things were as simple as a note and two little boxes. The note said, “Do you like me? Check yes or no.” Well, adulting is a little more complicated, and adults are apparently more afraid of getting hurt than children are. The reason we ask couples how they met is because we want to hear the details of how their paths crossed. We want to want to hear what he was thinking when she was thinking something entirely different. We want to hear about how they almost missed finding each other but somehow did. In the Bible, God told Adam that it was not good to be alone. I guess there’s a little bit of a hopeless romantic in all of us and it was placed there by God. Well, she certainly was the romantic type, but it seemed to be getting her nowhere. Cue the film back to the day the tears ended. She had finally surrendered her first love to the Lord. (Her decision was confirmed when said love called and announced he was returning to his hometown to finish college. He suggested a long-distance relationship, but she knew what God wanted her to do, and that wasn’t it.) Weeks had passed and the pain was ebbing away. On this particular afternoon, she was lying on the couch, resting after a long day at school, when the phone rang. It was him. Yes, him. No. Not the “him” who moved away, the “him” who didn’t want to date a girl who already had a boyfriend. But she didn’t have a boyfriend now, and she hadn’t had one for a while.
