Well, I’m almost 48 years old and definitely menopausal. Before you tell me that I’m too young for menopause, let me assure you, I’ve done my research.

According to The North American Menopause Society, (you can find them at www.menopause.org) “Natural menopause is the spontaneous, permanent ending of menstruation that is not caused by any medical treatment.” Menopause is a normal, natural event. It’s defined as the final menstrual period and is confirmed when a woman has not had her period for 12 consecutive months. “Women will likely experience natural menopause between ages 40 and 58 averaging around age 51.”

I’m not sensitive to my climbing digits and I welcome the end of menstruation. That being said, why have I chosen to write about this in today’s blog? That’s a plausible question considering I never write about anything clinical or scientific. My blog is called, Rhyme, Reason & Real Life, after all. Ding, ding, ding! Menopause, you’ve hit the mark! I’m going to talk about you and still stay on topic. Not only is menopause currently part of my real life, I’ve also written a poem about it… that rhymes!

No. I don’t have writer’s block.

No. I did not spin a wheel of topics to determine what I should write about today with said wheel unfortunately landing on the topic of menopause.

But I have been experiencing a well-known symptom of menopause lately; and instead of letting it frustrate me, I decided to find the humor in it and write about it. I’m not sure my husband is laughing, but he is at least trying to “dwell with me with understanding.” (1 Peter 3:7)

As you may have guessed by now, I’ve been having hot-flashes! These sudden changes in body temperature now dictate the way I style my hair, the clothes I wear and how I sleep at night. And as if that wasn’t enough of an invasion, they have also assigned themselves co-writers of my blog! So let’s just give them their five minutes of fame and be done with it! Shall we?

Introducing, Hot-flashes and the written work they have inspired…

I’m On Fire (Ode to Menopause)

To say I’m menopausal is simply to begin

A million, genetic embers attack me from within

With an apocalyptic fever found beneath my skin

I know you understand if you’re one of my kin

The original sin kind

Under the curse

It could be worse

Christ took our punishment 

His sacrifice makes us free

My heart is clean

Hormones, don’t you know you’re redeemed?!

One minute I’m frozen

The next, a glistening, white flame

My husband? Who’s that?

I’ve forgotten his name

I can’t lie close to him at night

His romantic heart I can’t tend

I’m focused on my new loves

A solemn mattress and the wind

A solemn mattress with no covers

Just a simple, fitted sheet

The wind- so much wind

Above, across and around me

And if the wind is kind

It will lull me to sleep

Only to awaken 

Brushed by flames

My husband’s feet!

Have you experienced anything like this? You’ve gotta laugh. Right? If you have, I’d love to hear your funny stories. Men, I’m talking to you too. My husband could tell you all about his near-death experiences with a 10 pound, fleece blanket that was tossed over his face in the middle of the night. Men, thank you for being patient with your wives during this season of life. Let me just say, during a hot flash, no part of your body must touch another part of your body. That is why you may walk into your bedroom and find your wife making snow angels in the bed. Only to her, it feels like she’s making snow angels on a bed of hot coals! If this happens to you, just find your Bible and read 1Peter 3:7… again.