My Aunt Reenie

My Aunt, Irene was easily the most beautiful woman I had ever seen with my own two eyes. Teresa Smith was a close second.

My cousin used to go my Aunt Irene’s house without me. I didn’t know when she was going. I just knew when she came back.

In all my years, I only went to Aunt Reenie’s house a handful of times. Usually because someone needed to use the phone. And she had one.

Aunt Reenie had a vicious, pekingese dog appropriately named, “Rowdy.” (Rowdy is the southern word for vicious.) Whenever I went there, Rowdy was always outside in the yard on his leash, and he would bark up a storm at the sight of me!

Mouthy dogs always scared me as a kid, and Rowdy was no exception. But I so wanted to go into Aunt Reenie’s house; so I would wait nervously at the gate until she came out and calmed Rowdy down. Then I would run through the yard and up the steps to my Aunt Reenie’s porch.

Aunt Reenie’s house was always so clean and organized. She had wooden, plank floors that were always waxed and shiny. She had a couch and a coffee table that got pushed out of the way when she did her aerobics. (The coffee table, not the couch.) I don’t remember much about the kitchen, except that’s where the phone was. She also had a modern washer and dryer, not a washing machine with a washtub, like the one on Mamaw’s porch. In my mind, I always thought of Aunt Reenie’s house as a “real” house.

My Uncle Melvin drove a Mack truck full of coal. Driving a coal truck or being a coal miner were the only man-jobs I knew of as a kid. Later, I would find out about car salesmen, but that’s a different story. I always thought my Aunt Reenie was rich.

Aunt Reenie had beautiful hair. She was as beautiful as Dolly Parton. Everyone said Aunt Reenie wore wigs. I guess I never did see my Aunt Reenie’s natural hair. Aunt Reenie’s make-up was even more perfect. Long, dark lashes, rosy cheeks and full, shiny lips every time I saw her. Every. Time. Did I mention, she was the most beautiful woman I ever… Oh yeah, I did. Well she was.

I never understood why I didn’t get to go to my Aunt Irene’s house when my cousin did.

My Aunt Reenie was always nice to me. She even let me smoke her cigarette once. I asked her if I could try it, and when she was sure I really wanted to, she handed it to me. I put it in my mouth. I was smoking Aunt Reenie’s cigarette! (I thought I was something.) Then she told me to take a deep breath in. It was the nastiest thing I ever tasted! Not to mention, I almost choked to death! My Aunt Reenie took the cigarette back, and she never said a word about it. She’s the reason I never smoked.

My Aunt Reenie used to take us to beach. She had a tan that would rival Lonnie Anderson’s. I should know, my uncle Stevie had a poster of Lonnie on his wall. Or maybe it was Farah Fawcett. Either way, my Aunt Reenie’s tan met the highest standards.

My Aunt Reenie also bought me my first record. Oh, I paid for it myself. It cost me a dollar, forty five. But my Aunt Reenie got it for me. She was going across the mountain into town, and she picked it up for me. Hungry Like The Wolf by Duran Duran. It was a single. It had a green label. I don’t remember the song on the other side.

I get emotional when I look back at my Aunt Reenie. We moved away when I was 14. The adult me never got to know her. Sure, we visited a few times after we moved, but you can’t build a relationship in a couple of hours once a decade.

I will always look at my Aunt Reenie with kid-eyes. My memories of her are preserved in time. She will always be beautiful. She will always be fashionable. She will always be admired.

And, like all my mother’s sisters, she will always be one of my favorites. I love you, Aunt Reenie.

One Drop of Patience

I wasn’t feeling well. I had a terrible sore throat. I asked my husband to get me a cough drop. He quickly pulled the large bag of unopened drops from the vanity drawer. Below the seal of the bag, there was a Ziploc® closure. He tried to open the bag with his bare hands but was unsuccessful. He moved over to my vanity cabinet, which is locked to keep my two year old grandson out of there, used the magnetic key to open the door, and took out the nail clippers.

He proceeded to clip the top of the bag, inch by inch. The once smooth bag was now jagged. “Why doesn’t he just get the scissors?” I thought to myself. “Look at that bag!” The Holy Spirit said, “Don’t look at it! Remember, he’s doing this for you. Think about the lengths he will go through to open the bag and get you what you need!” I looked away and smiled as a reminder to myself to be patient.

At last, the top of the bag was severed enough that my husband could reach the closure, open the bag, and retrieve the amazing lozenge that would sooth my pitiful throat.

Once the bag was fully opened my husband dumped several drops on the counter and then put the bag away. I watched intently as he picked up one drop. “Finally!” I thought. Then he began unwrapping the lozenge. “Really? He’s even unwrapping it for me?! This man is a prince!”

Then he popped it in his mouth.

My Most Curious Blog Entry, Period

Well, I’m almost 48 years old and definitely menopausal. Before you tell me that I’m too young for menopause, let me assure you, I’ve done my research.

According to The North American Menopause Society, (you can find them at www.menopause.org) “Natural menopause is the spontaneous, permanent ending of menstruation that is not caused by any medical treatment.” Menopause is a normal, natural event. It’s defined as the final menstrual period and is confirmed when a woman has not had her period for 12 consecutive months. “Women will likely experience natural menopause between ages 40 and 58 averaging around age 51.”

I’m not sensitive to my climbing digits and I welcome the end of menstruation. That being said, why have I chosen to write about this in today’s blog? That’s a plausible question considering I never write about anything clinical or scientific. My blog is called, Rhyme, Reason & Real Life, after all. Ding, ding, ding! Menopause, you’ve hit the mark! I’m going to talk about you and still stay on topic. Not only is menopause currently part of my real life, I’ve also written a poem about it… that rhymes!

No. I don’t have writer’s block.

No. I did not spin a wheel of topics to determine what I should write about today with said wheel unfortunately landing on the topic of menopause.

But I have been experiencing a well-known symptom of menopause lately; and instead of letting it frustrate me, I decided to find the humor in it and write about it. I’m not sure my husband is laughing, but he is at least trying to “dwell with me with understanding.” (1 Peter 3:7)

As you may have guessed by now, I’ve been having hot-flashes! These sudden changes in body temperature now dictate the way I style my hair, the clothes I wear and how I sleep at night. And as if that wasn’t enough of an invasion, they have also assigned themselves co-writers of my blog! So let’s just give them their five minutes of fame and be done with it! Shall we?

Introducing, Hot-flashes and the written work they have inspired…

I’m On Fire (Ode to Menopause)

To say I’m menopausal is simply to begin

A million, genetic embers attack me from within

With an apocalyptic fever found beneath my skin

I know you understand if you’re one of my kin

The original sin kind

Under the curse

It could be worse

Christ took our punishment 

His sacrifice makes us free

My heart is clean

Hormones, don’t you know you’re redeemed?!

One minute I’m frozen

The next, a glistening, white flame

My husband? Who’s that?

I’ve forgotten his name

I can’t lie close to him at night

His romantic heart I can’t tend

I’m focused on my new loves

A solemn mattress and the wind

A solemn mattress with no covers

Just a simple, fitted sheet

The wind- so much wind

Above, across and around me

And if the wind is kind

It will lull me to sleep

Only to awaken 

Brushed by flames

My husband’s feet!

 

Have you experienced anything like this? You’ve gotta laugh. Right? If you have, I’d love to hear your funny stories. Men, I’m talking to you too. My husband could tell you all about his near-death experiences with a 10 pound, fleece blanket that was tossed over his face in the middle of the night. Men, thank you for being patient with your wives during this season of life. Let me just say, during a hot flash, no part of your body must touch another part of your body. That is why you may walk into your bedroom and find your wife making snow angels in the bed. Only to her, it feels like she’s making snow angels on a bed of hot coals! If this happens to you, just find your Bible and read 1Peter 3:7… again.

 

 

My Youthful Mind

My body may be wearing out
But my mind is doing fine
I may be wrinkled all about
But just on the outside
Inside’s a flurry with Mind as the culprit
Telling Body what to do though he knows we cannot do it
Climb a tree, skip and jump, dance a jig and clap your hands
Mind’s living in another time when life was oh so grand
He’s in denial
He thinks we’re young
He sings a song already sung
He sings it loudly
And though he’s wrong
I’m always convinced to sing along.

Mechelle Ritchie Foster
(I wrote this about myself and my friends Ruthie and Gerry, two amazing, ageless ladies.)