First Born

It’s amazing how difficult it is to be firstborn

The second does not understand

They see privilege



Yet being firstborn comes with so much responsibility

It’s built-in

It’s part of the job

It looks like bossiness

But it’s protection

It looks like don’t wanna play

But it’s growing up

It looks like never share

But it’s longing for something

Anything that is exclusively yours

Firstborn means

Being in your own world sometimes

It means different teachers

Different friends

Different likes and dislikes

Different experiences

Different memories

It means moving at a different pace

Moving ahead

And eventually

It means leaving and not coming back

It’s not insensitive

It’s not uncaring

It’s just firstborn

Who Do You Think You Are?

Behind his horn-rimmed glasses were eyes that resembled mine. I don’t really look like my dad. I’ve never even met him. But I do have a slightly worn, wallet-sized copy of his senior picture. My mom gave it to me at some point during my impressionable years. My mom also told me my dad was a doctor.

I honestly don’t know how old I was when she gave me that picture; or how I was able to hold on to it all these years amidst several moves in three states. But like that picture, the thought of my intelligent, responsible, admirable, doctor-father stayed with me far into adulthood.

I had no plans to write about this. Most of the time, I wake up and ask the Lord, “What am I writing about today?” (That is, if He doesn’t bring it up first.) Today when I asked Him, that old picture came to mind.

I spent some time this past week reconstructing the timeline of my childhood. I’m working on a dream project right now- publishing my very first book. God has given me a vision for some things I am to do once I have that book in my hands. I’m covering those things in prayer right now, or as my friend likes to say, “praying into those things.” To pray into something means, when God gives you an idea or a specific assignment, talk to Him about it. Spend time with Him. Let Him map out those things and give you specific strategies to accomplish what He has called you to do.

“Getting saved” is literally only the beginning of the relationship God wants to have with us. There is infinitely more. Think about the closest, healthiest, most loving relationship you have with someone. I promise you, that relationship pales in comparison to the relationship God wants to have with you.

I didn’t always know that.

To reconstruct my childhood timeline, I sorted through report cards, memorabilia and photographs. I googled places I’ve lived to cross-reference my memory. All of this took time and there are many years that don’t exist tangibly. Even so, I took notes based on what I have. I am preparing to tell my story alongside the stories that are in my first book. Even now, I am not privy to everything God is gently and lovingly pulling out of me.

This is where my bio dad comes in. I came across his picture this week. I picked it up and studied it. Apparently the picture has been exchanged a few times. Not only is it old and worn, but on the back of the photo there is cursive handwriting written with pencil and on top of that is my dad’s name printed with pen. Maybe the picture was given to a family member by his mother as school portraits often are. Maybe he himself gave the photo to a classmate. Maybe his sister gave the photo to one of her friends hoping they would think he was handsome. Maybe that friend was my mother. I’m too tired to explore the intrigue today. All I know is, at some point it became my mom’s possession and she entrusted it to me.

God used that photo and the story that came with it to establish a heritage in my life. From that point on, no matter what happened and no matter what was spoken over me, I stood firmly on the image and character of my father. I didn’t have to follow in anyone else’s muddy footsteps. I didn’t have to believe hateful, belittling lies. I knew who I was.

Do you know where I’m going with this? Do you see the parallel? God has established a heritage in our lives. If you don’t know what that is, you can find it in the Bible. From Genesis to Revelation, our heritage and our lineage is laid out before us. Life before Jesus is like life before that picture of my dad. Before that time I felt inferior and poor, lonely and broken. I had no reason to believe I was anything more than what people said I was. I had no reason to believe I could live a life that was any different than what I saw around me. I lived in fear of tragedy and wondered what tragic event would end my life or the lives of those I loved.

If you identify with any of this, I encourage you to talk to God and read the Bible. The New Living Translation is one of the easiest to understand. It’s the version I read. I also use study books from a group called, She Reads Truth. If you want to know more about how to start a relationship with Jesus or have questions, feel free to email me.

God’s plan for you will blow your mind!


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I Am A Writer

Hi, my name is Mechelle. I am a writer, and I have an opportunity to publish my first book!

This book is a collection of poetry inspired by the people God has placed in my life, especially the little people. When I use the word “little,” I don’t mean insignificant I am referring to children.

I began working with children when I was 16, and when I was almost 20, I married a children’s pastor. My husband and I pastored kids for over two decades before becoming lead pastors at our church. Our most crucial pastoring role, however, has always been pastoring our own two children.

When my kids were very young, I was a stay-at-home mom. Although the unofficial slogan for The Peace Corps is, “The toughest job you’ll ever love!” these words also apply to motherhood.

The days (and nights) of motherhood are often taxing, long and lonely. You learn to be creative and inventive when you’re home all day with a one-year-old who has their own language and an iron will. You also learn to cling to optimism because utter despair lurks around every leaking sippy cup and potty seat. It was during this wonderful, trying time I began to use rhyme to help teach and encourage my children. With each new experience or challenge came a new jingle. We sang and rhymed our way through the day. We sang about the sun in the morning, the foods we ate at noon and the Lord’s watchful care before going to sleep at night. Now, I am the Nana of two precious little boys who are continuing the constant inspiration for life and poetry.

I believe now is the time to publish some of my writing. You can help me do that by giving any amount to my GoFundMe campaign. (To find out how, click the navigation button at the top of this page and visit the page entitled, “Help me publish my first book!”)

Perhaps you have read my poetry or other writing before.

It could be, you’re a writer yourself and long to publish a book one day. Maybe you are a writer who has already been through the process and understands the expense.

For whatever reason you are reading my story, thank you. Thank you for your time and for considering to give. Any amount, no matter how small is a shake of pom poms. Not just any pom poms, the glittery, metallic ones with two colors. Thank you for cheering me on. I hear you and I am thankful.