Comparison Is In the Mirror

Shortly after I woke up this morning, I found myself in front of the full-length mirror. Am I pretty? That was the internal question I asked myself. It wasn't a very fair question, considering I had bed-head, was dressed in pajamas, and had on no makeup. Suddenly, I was knee-deep in comparison, and I hadn't even had my quiet time or breakfast smoothie yet. This was a complete breach of protocol by my inner voice.

Comparison Is Personal

Am I pretty? I immediately began sizing myself up. Is my hair pretty? Not really. I used to have long, straight hair. I used to have long, permed hair. I used to have a bob, a flip-up, an asymmetrical do, and almost every hairstyle Meg Ryan ever had. Compared to Meg and former versions of myself, no, my hair isn't pretty. It's too short for my liking, and there aren't enough blonde highlights because I've decided to go back to my natural color, which means I'm in the middle of a grow-out. Transitions can be difficult, but hair transitions are the worst!

Comparison Is Ugly

Then I looked at my face. I have age spots now. Well, culture calls them age spots, but they're really sun spots (thank you, Florida.) I could kick myself for not wearing sunscreen when I was young and invincible. I also have acne, which, hello, was supposed to disappear by my mid-20's. I currently have one stubborn blemish that decided to pop up right in the middle of my forehead, and refuses to be bullied by acne patches and tallow. I won't even talk about my body shape— that ship sailed a long time ago. Pretty? I'm just not making the cut here.

Comparison Is Empty

The Bible says... yep, that's what I always come back to. I find my worth in God. Don't get me wrong, I've looked in other places, but I just never found it there. The Bible says that man looks on the outward appearance, but God looks at the heart. (1 Samuel 16:7) Thank God for God. He is loving, wise, and worth my devotion. He knows what I know: my appearance has been and will continue to change for my entire life; yours, too.

For example, if I show you my baby picture, you probably won't see a resemblance. My upper elementary school photos are horrendous— I was nothing but buck teeth and glasses. My senior photos turned out great, I must admit, but sadly, the beauty was short-lived. I look nothing like I did back then. I look nothing like I did on my wedding day. Yet I continue to focus on something as wishy-washy as my appearance. You too? However, when Jesus makes a comparison, it's not my appearance He compares, it's my heart to His.

Comparison Is A Heart Matter

It comes down to this: there will always be models, celebrities, and other female phenoms vying for a place on my comparison chart. They are positioned right next to any version of my former self; a version that wasn't good enough back then, but taunts me now, saying, "I told you so. Don't you wish you were still me?"

I am growing out my hair, taking better care of my skin, watching what I eat, and moving more. That's true, but even if (someday) I look in the mirror at 5 am and think I am pretty, someone out there will always be prettier. I am more than the sum of my parts. I am not just the reflection in my mirror; I am also the me that only God sees, and regarding my appearance, he loves me just as I am. As for my heart, I surrender it to Him daily, and he makes it beautiful, because He makes it more like Himself.