My Story

My mission, as a writer is, "connecting you with joy, hope, and the wonder of childhood." This is my mission because I understand firsthand how these things can be taken from someone at an early age, never to be found again. When I was seven years old, my mom remarried, we moved to another state, and my life was forever changed. No longer surrounded by family, my mom, sister, and I were seemingly trapped in a world of physical, sexual, and verbal/mental abuse. My sister was the youngest and suffered things I never did. However, we both saw my mom attacked and almost killed many times. It is a very long story that spans twelve years for me and even longer for my mom and sister. I hesitate to write in detail, but one day I will. To sum it up, I was belittled constantly, touched inappropriately by a member of my stepfather's family, and consumed by fear and worry. Drugs, alcohol, yelling, fighting, etc. was our norm.

What's Normal?

When people learn about my childhood, they often ask, "How did you turn out so normal?" They don't know I have felt rejected most of my life. They don't know how long I pursued perfectionism , or how that affected my children when they were young. They don't know that I've struggled with inferiority. However, the Lord has taken me through a process of healing, and in some respects is still taking me through it. The joy I experience in my life now is a direct result of a close relationship with God.

The Difference Between Trauma and Abuse

But before I go any further, I want to make sure we have the same understanding of two important words I will use here: trauma and abuse. Although these words are often intertwined, they are not the same thing. I actually asked Google what they meant this morning because I didn't want to use them in a way that may cause confusion or pain to anyone who has experienced either. The Dictionary of Oxford Languages defines these words this way:

Another online source, medicine.net, helped me further understand the difference between these two words. To paraphrase, whereas, abuse affects the physical body, trauma affects the mind. This explains why even when physical or sexual abuse ends, one may still experience trauma as the abuse is replayed in the mind.

Learning About Trauma Firsthand

Please note: I am not a medical doctor or a psychologist. I have no medical authority regarding these matters or the treatment thereof. My opinions are based on my own experience. I cannot touch on every person's circumstances, or solve everyone's problems. I simply want to give you hope, and one step you can take today along the path to healing. Just one.

I have seen many adults struggle with the abuse that happened to them as children. They make poor decisions and don't have healthy relationships. They may become addicted to drugs, alcohol, food, or anything else that will dull their pain or the memory of painful events. Many sexual abuse victims also deal with gender confusion. Why? Because a child does not think like an adult, nor do they have much life experience to draw from. Lies told by an abuser are believed to be true and become a child's false reality, one they may live in even through adulthood. I could write for days on this subject, using just one family as a case study— mine.

Self-help Won't Free You From Trauma

This leads me to that one step I told you about; the one thing you can do to take a step along the path to healing. One caveat, though. The Lord is the only one who can truly heal the pain you and I have been through. Any step you take along the path of healing is merely self-help without Him. Call on Him and ask Him to heal your heart, your mind, and your body. This conversation with God is the most important conversation you will ever have, and He is the only one who has the power to make the steps we take effective. Once you have surrendered your life to God, surrender to Him, your hurt, pain, anger, resentment, loss, fear, all the things. Now you and God can take a look at your life and How to walk in freedom from your past.

The Bible says in Romans 12:2 NLT, "Don't copy the customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God's will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect."

Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

The First Step To Freedom From Trauma

In my opinion, the first step in overcoming trauma is to change the way you think. Stop believing that the abuse and subsequent trauma is your fault. No person has the right to abuse another person, regardless of what that person said or did. No person has the right to abuse or lie to a child or vulnerable person of any age. It is not your job, or mine, to avoid all words or actions that may trigger anger or rage in another person. And should a person become angry or enraged in response to something you or I do, it is not our fault if that person abuses us. These lies are crafted by satan and he uses evil people to perpetuate them.

If you are reading this, I pray you are not currently experiencing abuse. You may still experience tauma, however, and if you are, it's time to change what you believe. There is a God who loves you, his name is Jesus. He left Heaven to come to earth to pay the penalty for our sin, because we could never pay it. There may be people who have been or are against you, but Jesus is for you! (Romans 8:31b) He came to give us a full life on earth and an eternal life in Heaven. He did not send abuse and trauma your way. He didn't stand idly by and approve of what was happening to you. Someone who was not following Jesus chose to hurt you. The Bible says God has good plans for you, not plans for disaster, but plans to give you a future and a hope. (Jeremiah 29:11) Satan is a thief and he also has a plan for you— a plan to steal from you, to kill you, and destroy you. (John 10:10) I heard someone explain why the word "destroy" is used after the word "kill." You see, death is not final. Our spirit will live on somewhere, Heaven or Hell. The enemy doesn't just want to kill us, He wants to destroy us by tempting us to deny God so we will be separated from Him for eternity.

Is Trauma From God?

Still questioning whether the abuse or trauma you have experienced was from God? Take a piece of paper and draw a vertical line down the middle. Write the word, "Life" on the right side and "Death" on the other side. Life was given to us by God. Death is from the enemy, satan. Which column do the things that happened to you belong in? What about the things you believe about yourself or the things you've been told? Are these beliefs good? Do they give you hope? Do they help you look to the future? Do they make you feel loved? If they don't, they are lies and they belong in the column marked, "Death." The Bible is truth. The Bible tells us exactly what God thinks about us. He is our creator and He is the only one who has the right to tell us who we are. You can overcome childhood abuse and trauma. There is a path to healing. God wants to walk that path with you. Take the first step. He's waiting.